Those four words.
Introspection. Mediation. Movement. Reflection.
They have helped me move so far from the deep bleakness of my world I lived in for the past four or five months. Strangely enough after casting my early vote weeks ago, and then tuning out the Presidential politics really helped me focus on what I needed to keep my focus on. While the subject matter of the current US politics is/was enough to depress anyone with half a brain; what I needed to do was spend time by myself reflecting and soul searching.
The earlier part of this week I was traveling on business, so I had plenty of time in airport, in airplanes, hotel rooms and the tradeshow floor to ponder. I was able to do this by reconnecting with my yoga practice, which I started back on a month ago. Mediation and breathing allowed me to clear my mind, and feel my own spirit take over. Even more surprising is another quite space, for my mind, Spinning. By going to a Spin class 3-4 days a week, I’m able to have my mind only focused on keeping my body pedaling, breathing and nothing else. It provided the necessary relief from the constant nagging dark thoughts that toiled in my mind in the months earlier.
The quite space of a hotel room, and the anonymity of airports and show floors allows one to review past feelings and events. Time spent alone in a crowd is almost holistic. These reflective periods were necessary. I needed them to make sure I was headed down the correct path, the one that most assuredly will cost me a great friendship, but allow me to keep my sanity and rebuild my honor.
What conclusion have I come to then? I knew for sure that this depression was only about one life event and I laid the blame squarely at the feet of only one person. However, there are two people involved. I forgot myself. I can’t be happy if I don’t fix myself. And in order to do that I need time away from the source of my despair. I need time for continued introspection, reflection, meditation and movement.
Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.
~ Oprah Winfrey