Cloudy days. There are joyful cloudy days, those are the days when I used to be in the Maine woods with dog and shotgun or sitting by a campfire or even indoors with a crackling fire, warm tea and a good book.
Then there are the prototypical cloudy days. Dark, foreboding, cold, depressive days. The day seems to drag on forever in a downward spiral.
In reality, the actual day doesn’t need to be cloudy at all … a dark day can be full of bright sunshine. I have written about depression before. And I think I found and isolated the source of that previous bout. Well a trip the doctor for a wellness trip has me re-thinking that decision. The intake form has questionnaire about depression; and it got me thinking about it again. I didn’t have time to read through the questions, and I really didn’t want to “chat” with my doc about it, because the last think I need right now is more pills!
The only thing I can think to do it to remove the source of the depression. Avoidance can only work for so long, so I’m going to go with distraction. I’m going a gym in October, and hope to busy myself with getting back in shape, which will help me with better self-image. I want to start eating better, dressing sharper and generally looking after number one. Over the last 4 months I feel like I was snookered because I’m a “good guy”, I’m tired of finishing last.