This is going to sound weird coming from a guy, but I think I would rather have a strong friendship over sex. Don’t get me wrong, sex is important and pleasurable; however sex without friendship first is empty.
The number of women I can put in this category is small, and many of them are separated by time and/or distance. I dearly miss the daily interactions with each and every one of them. Those that I can still stay in touch with or see in person at least weekly have a special place in my life. Don’t misread me; my wife is the center of my life and she certainly fits into this category of friendship. These other women keep me anchored.
When I need a pick-me-up, they flash an unknowing smile. When my head gets too inflated with self-ego, they are there to give unbiased opinion. These are the relationships that work right on the edge. They are flirty, serious, fun and supportive; and in all likelihood if I was’t already in a longterm or committed relationship, I would be with one of these special girls.
I write about this subject as I recently had more time alone to think and contemplate these relationships. I wondered aloud if it was normal for other guys to have these relationships. My observations about men in general is that I’m surprised that most have any opportunity to get any women. They certainly don’t act respectful or speak with any tact.
So, I took to asking a friend what makes me different from other guys. I knew it was a risk, as it could have strained and broke the friendship. That was part of the experiment too – were these feelings just one sided? First, it was confirmed that the feelings are two-sided, and probably wouldn’t work if they weren’t. Second, I made her feel important. Not taken for granted. And lastly, the inside jokes, those special moments that only we can wink at each other and instantly know the reference.
The last one, seemed to me to the the real cement that holds the friendship together. It’s more like the bonds I have with my guy friends. So to all the gals who have achieved this level of friendship, thank-you for sticking with me and for being a part of my life.