Today, for all intents and purposes,
will should be my last day of Chemotherapy. The last four treatments have been spaced 8-weeks apart and are technically not chemotherapy, but more of a holding what we accomplished with the Chemo from last summer. And I say my last treatment, even though we should be looking at 12 treatments over 24-months, because when I move later this month, I’m not continuing this treatment. Here are my reasons:
1. I shouldn’t be doing any international travel and if so, it certainly won’t be to any third-world countries of Asia,
2. In speaking to my doctor the last time, I ask, why are we doing this treatment? His response was that the is a cure coming and we are keeping me in a holding pattern. Okay, so what if the cure doesn’t come in the next 24-months, then what? Well we just stop the treatments, as your body can’t take the Rixtuan on a long term basis. I’ll take my chances without the Rixtuan,
3. My white blood cell count hasn’t come up since my last real chemo treatment. That has lead to a round of bronchitis and many end to end little colds. Even though they say Rixtuan doesn’t kill WBC, I need some normal time for my body to recover. I’m starting a new job and I can’t afford to be ill all the time.
4. Funds to pay of rate treatment run out with this treatment, then it all come out of my pocket. The Lymphoma Society has been great and when I can, I will donate back to them.
I am so ready to close this chapter of my life. This is one more step to leaving NY and putting the bad times behind me. It is sad that I look back at the times in Maine with a sense of loss. I know that some of it is from having spent 23 years there. But the loss I’m talking about is the loss of feeling like I’m doing good, meaningful work. Being out of work is almost a bad as working for a bad company. The last 4-5 year in Maine the company changed. This last job never really took off. I’m ready for a change, and it’s raining in NY today, again. If it’s not raining (or snowing). it’s overcast here. I don’t know why anyone lives in the state of NY – it’s over priced, over regulated and the weather is only good for many a month out of the year!
So off I go to see the doctor and sit in a chemo-chair for a couple of hours. Wish me luck.